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fingersnthumbs , 05 Jan 2019

The relief of identifying my foe.

Hello everybody,
My name is Steve, I'm 45 and have had bouts of Trichotillomania, on and off, for much of my adult life. By no means as severe as many sufferers, my affected areas are confined to 2 coin sized areas on my scalp, a tiny area on my neck, and most oddly, any tiny insignificant hair that dares emerge from the intermediate phalanges of my ring and middle fingers. I also suspect that it may well be the cause of a problem I have with my right hand and arm.

Today was a good day, not because it's stopped and gone away; that's up to me to deal with now. Today I learned it's name. I was watching a lecture on OCD where the name came up, followed by it's description; "That's me!" I thought. That feels pretty empowering to me, not that I expect things to start suddenly getting easier; the hard work can begin now that I know what I'm aiming for.

I have justified my fidgeting to myself by thinking, "maybe, there's something under the skin that needs to be got out". In a sense, perhaps that is true, it just turns out to be a couple of inches deeper than I had bargained for.

I am fortunate that I have otherwise a good head of hair, which I tend to wear quite long; on the other hand, perhaps by doing this I am enabling my behaviour.

It is humbling to learn that even Aristotle all those years ago was aware of this. I don't feel quite the oddball now.

I'm looking forward to participating with you all, perhaps together we can make 2019 the year we broke free.

My very best wishes,

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