I'm desperate and worse off than most with this disorder. (HELP)

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I'm desperate and worse off than most with this disorder. (HELP)
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I have taken this disorder to a whole new level. I am miserable and I need help. I had eaten my hair routinely during most of my teenage years up until the age of 17 or so (21 now). I had stopped and thought nothing of this, and that it was a phase, forgot about it and moved on with my life. Over the past year I have developed a lot of stomach issues and I started to worry that I have developed a hairball (Trichobezoar) over all these years. The pain comes and goes almost like gas pains, but usually I am able to forget it's there, move forward, and continue to live a normalish life. I fear that it will take my life. I also fear that if I attempt to get help I might take my own life if the reactions and judgments from my peers, family, and doctors are to hurtful. I would understand though. I did this to myself. I'm not normal and I am disgusting, but I am desperate to live a regular life so I may just deal with the criticism, get myself a new stomach, and move to Australia lol. I have hope, but i am more fearful of rejection and humiliation.

Can someone please help me, or just talk with me about this and give me some advice?

I pray that someone else on here is going through the same things, or went through these things before and got help so that we can either help each other, or if the latter, help me please. Thank you.

If there is someone that also eats their hair and feels like they are alone, please contact me. We need each other. Or at least I need you. No one will understand us, like we understand each other. We can get help together. I'm sure no one wants to go through this alone. This is a whole different ballgame than just pulling hair, and I need a teammate.

Thank you all.

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I would enjoy talking with you as I’m in the same boat as you, let me know if there’s a way we can chat and help each other out.

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Can we be friends?

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If you are asking me then of course! I’d love to have a friend going through the same thing as me!

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Brandonias and Shadow1234, maybe we can make a whatsapp group for trich sufferers and we can all socialise on there? What do you think? :)
or if you would prefer to just talk on an indivudal basis, I am open to that too. It would be great to talk to other trich sufferers as I haven't come across any :(

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Making a group is a good idea! I do prefer using an app with email instead of using a phone number. Let me know if u know of a app that you can use email.

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I'll find a Facebook Trich group we can join :) and will post here when i find it

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I Also do not have Facebook. I have Instagram if u have it. Also we could just email back and forth.

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I'm not sure how to send private messages on here. Yes we can email . What is your email address? :)

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Yes I am.

I can’t wait to speak to you soon!

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Last seen: 7 months 2 hours ago
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Yes I am.

Can’t wait to speak to you further!

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Brandonias wrote:

I have taken this disorder to a whole new level. I am miserable and I need help. I had eaten my hair routinely during most of my teenage years up until the age of 17 or so (21 now). I had stopped and thought nothing of this, and that it was a phase, forgot about it and moved on with my life. Over the past year I have developed a lot of stomach issues and I started to worry that I have developed a hairball (Trichobezoar) over all these years. The pain comes and goes almost like gas pains, but usually I am able to forget it's there, move forward, and continue to live a normalish life. I fear that it will take my life. I also fear that if I attempt to get help I might take my own life if the reactions and judgments from my peers, family, and doctors are to hurtful. I would understand though. I did this to myself. I'm not normal and I am disgusting, but I am desperate to live a regular life so I may just deal with the criticism, get myself a new stomach, and move to Australia lol. I have hope, but i am more fearful of rejection and humiliation.

Can someone please help me, or just talk with me about this and give me some advice?

I pray that someone else on here is going through the same things, or went through these things before and got help so that we can either help each other, or if the latter, help me please. Thank you.

If there is someone that also eats their hair and feels like they are alone, please contact me. We need each other. Or at least I need you. No one will understand us, like we understand each other. We can get help together. I'm sure no one wants to go through this alone. This is a whole different ballgame than just pulling hair, and I need a teammate.

Thank you all.

Hi.Cut hair very short so that it is impossible to damage their nails. Get used to the new hairstyle. Approximately 0.3 cm-0.5 cm hair height. My child has a problem with pulling out hair and eating. We removed the hair completely. She is a girl

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Hey everyone. Thank you for responding! My email is PallanesBrandon@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from y'all!

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Sorry to hear you’re going through all this- I used to eat my hair occasionally but not all the time, then moved into just pulling.

My main thing I want to say to you is it’s OKAY. You’re going to be okay. You deserve love- and even if this seems like it’ll never get better- it can!

That isolation is the real monster- that fear and guilt and shame. That’s what you can fight against!

I have struggled with trich for a long time- it started around 12 and I’m 27 now. But I feel like I may finally be making some headway, and my hair is starting to look really nice.

I think trich is basically a downward spiral- it comes from a place of self-harm or self-deprecation and then also feeds back into the cycle when you feel extra sad about how your hair looks.

What has helped me: self-love.

To battle against all the shame that trich brings, use allll the self-love tools you can. Read up about self-love, listen to podcasts on experts on this kind of thing. I recommend the “Broken Brain” podcast. Lots of helpful info on the ways the body and brain are connected.

It’s kind of a bigger monster you’re facing- not just the action of using your fingers and hands to pull your hair out- it comes from somewhere deeper in your system.

Using affirmations has been tremendously helpful in reprogramming my brain from patterns of shameful thinking.

I didn’t realize how much I would say to myself during the day, small things all day long inside my head like “oh god I’m such a failure”, “of course this would happen to me”, “fml”, “you’re so stupid”, “you’re so slow”, etc etc. I would say horrible things to myself all day long.

If you’re the same way- try to notice when you say these things to yourself. And every time you hear yourself disrespecting yourself- take what your brain said to you and correct it: replace “you’re so stupid” with “you are capable and smart!” Etc. Seems absolutely ridiculous at first- but it HELPS. Seriously.

The other thing I’d say- be endlessly patient with yourself. Progress will take a little while- but, it will happen. Be patient, believe in yourself, love yourself every day.

Finally- breathing techniques. Meditation. Qi gong or yoga could be helpful as well.

My routine to stop pulling now is this- I notice my hands and sometimes even look at them (for some reason this grounds me). I place them gently, flat on my head (that’s where I pull) and tell myself some loving affirmations: “it’s okay”, “I love you”, “I love my hair”, “I deserve love”, “I am capable”, “I am strong”, “I can do this”- whichever of these resonates with me that day. Simultaneously, I take three deep breaths- 4 counts in, 4 counts out. If I need to breathe longer I will. Then, I try to refresh my surroundings- stand up if I’m sitting- get out of the room- move on to the next thing. I find I pull when I’m avoiding something I need to do- even if it’s simple, so sometimes I take that opportunity to make a to do list, or if I know what I’m putting off- to try to get it done, or take one baby step in the direction of getting it done. Or- if you have someone you can talk to- opening up to them. Letting someone know you feel frustrated or anxious and leaning on some support.

Also- even though at times it has made me feel ashamed of myself- keeping others that I trust aware of the fact that I don’t want to pull- has helped. My mom, siblings or my boyfriend will sometimes just pull my hand away from my hair (gently) or bring attention to the fact that I’m pulling. Even though I usually blush or feel a little bad about it, it’s also reaffirming to know other people care. If you’re lucky enough to have some people in your life who you can trust like that, consider letting them know what you’re going through.

Lots of love