New to group with 20+ Years of pulling

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Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
Joined: 09/10/2018 - 23:02
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New to group with 20+ Years of pulling
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I don’t even k ow sometimes. Sometimes I start pulling and don’t notice for a while, I always do in the car while driving, sometime I notice and continue anyways. But I’ve pretty much given up hope. I have permanent bald spots on my head, which are thankfully covered by hair, but I can’t wear my hair down. Ever. It’s hard to feel feminine sometimes when everyone else can wear their hair down and I can’t. I don’t talk about this with anyone, and I just don’t even know what to do now since I’ve done irreparable damage. Hair is such a silly thing in the whole scheme of things but if people knew they would be so judgmental.

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Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
Joined: 09/11/2018 - 02:46
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I know how you feel. It seems so silly because it's "just hair", but that hasn't stopped me from being too scared to tell even a single person about my problem irl for 10 years, and feeling extremely uncomfortable when you can feel people staring at your bald spots. I know people wouldn't understand because even my family gave me shit about it for years until they finally just gave up and stopped mentioning it (I never actually told them I pulled my hair btw, but of course they knew and would point it out to me, all the while I continuously denied it even though we all knew I was lying). And the permanent damage is one of many reason why I don't even really try to grow my hair back anymore. Last time I tried to do that (probably 5 years ago) it just didn't seem to grow back right and then I couldn't stop myself from pulling anymore anyway. You could consider trying to wear a wig, but I understand that you might not want to, since even wearing a wig can draw unwanted attention.

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ajs wrote:

You could consider trying to wear a wig, but I understand that you might not want to, since even wearing a wig can draw unwanted attention.

Yes, a wig seems like it would draw more attention. And I know how you feel. Any time I am talking to someone and see their eyes love toward my head I am instantly uncomfortable and that’s all I can think about. Did I cover it well enough today. Then I usually make a beeline to the bathroom to check. So frustrating. I think I’ve accepted that I will eventually have to wear a wig, but just not dealing with it right now. I actually bought a hairpiece to cover up the section that would allow me to wear my hair down, but it’s been so hot outside that it’s too sweaty to.