What can my 10 year old daughter tell her friends?

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Joined: 03/30/2018 - 05:20
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What can my 10 year old daughter tell her friends?
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Hi everyone.
My 10 year old daughter pulls her eyelashes and eyebrows. She is getting a lot of questions from her friends at school and is embarrassed to tell them the truth. Does anyone have any advice for her?

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Last seen: 1 year 3 weeks ago
Joined: 08/29/2018 - 22:12
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Hi,

I started around her age too (I am now 25) and also pulled my head hair, eyelashes & eyebrows; where people started to notice this and asked questions. Not until high school did I start to pencil in my eyebrows and eyeliner (still do). I did this to avoid getting asked about it a lot, but tried to make it as natural looking as I could. When people would ask me about it...as weird as it may sound I use to either say that I just had really light colored eyebrows (am naturally dirty-blonde hair) or would say that I had Alopecia because in my mind that sounded better (since that was something you can't control and what I had was something I caused.)

It wasn't until years later on that I had one friend I was comfortable telling and they use to help me when I was at school or hanging out; when urges came up and I'd want to start they'd either quietly nudge me to stop or hold my hands till I calmed down.

Hope this somewhat helps.

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Last seen: 1 year 2 weeks ago
Joined: 08/12/2018 - 22:56
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I am 13 and and have had trichotillomania for 3 years. Two weeks ago I pulled out all of my eyebrows.
It is best to tell your friends. This gives you a peer to talk to. Also, make sure to inform the teachers of your daughter’s situation. They will be happy to help and divert attention off of your daughter when they are able to.

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Last seen: 1 year 2 weeks ago
Joined: 08/12/2018 - 22:56
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I am 13 and and have had trichotillomania for 3 years. Two weeks ago I pulled out all of my eyebrows.
It is best to tell your friends. This gives you a peer to talk to. Also, make sure to inform the teachers of your daughter’s situation. They will be happy to help and divert attention off of your daughter when they are able to.

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Last seen: 10 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 11/02/2018 - 01:18
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My trich started in high school, and I told my friends who noticed (very few did because I got really good at using eyeliner to avert attention) that a medication I was on made them fall out. It was very believable. If they asked what kind of medication I told them it was blood pressure meds because I was currently on them for migraines and hair falling out was a side effect. No one ever questioned me and I never got made fun of for it.

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Last seen: 10 months 1 week ago
Joined: 11/02/2018 - 01:12
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I told my friends my eyelashes and eyebrows were very weak so whenever I washed my face they snapped and left me with really short hairs you can’t see. Hope she’s okay. I know how hard it can be getting unwanted attention for something you try so hard to stop. Remind her that it does t matter what anyone says and she is beautiful no matter what anyone says if people start saying things. I know at that age I really wish someone had said that to me.

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Last seen: 10 months 1 week ago
Joined: 11/12/2018 - 03:43
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Hi, I've had trich since i was 13, now i'm 27.
The only advice i could give you is to avoid encouraging your daughter to hide or lie about it. That's what i suffered from the most, and is the worst part of dealing with trichotillomania. That's what made me lose confidence about myself, avoid sometime socializing just to make sure i wouldn't have to deal with other people's looks.
It is only when i stopped hiding, started accepting myself, talking openly about it, and spending less time trying to hide the bald spots in my head, that trichotillomania suddenly vanished from my life at age 22 (you can read my story in the forum).
She should not build up an identification of herself with that condition, she's worth more than that, and her life shouldn't not turn around it. The more weight you give it, the heaviest it gets.

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Last seen: 9 months 3 days ago
Joined: 12/21/2018 - 00:55
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I found out about my trich when I was 16 (now im 18) and honestly telling my close friends was the best thing I could have done. any time they see me pulling they will hold my hand or distract me with something. However, since they are so young I don't know if her friends would be able to help much/understand what is going on. It can be really embarrassing to talk about so as long as she trusts who she tells, it should be ok.

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Last seen: 6 months 1 day ago
Joined: 03/23/2019 - 05:56
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I have suggested the following: "You know how some people bite their nails? Well, sometimes I pull at my brows and dont even notice. It's a habit." That's it. She has not yet been able to fully adopt this and would rather make up stories about how why her brows are gone. I find she can more easily tell her girlfriends in private than respond to adults who say something (usually it's "did you wax your brows?! or what happenned to your brows?)

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Last seen: 1 month 2 weeks ago
Joined: 08/01/2019 - 12:21
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I am currently 13 but started around 7-8 years old. I agree with many of these other people in that telling others is the best thing your daughter can do. Lying and trying to cover it up could just make the urges worse. I am very open about my trich and it can be a bit awkward w/strangers or new people but the people who matter wont care. Friends can help your daughter battle trich by (for example) recognizing when she starts picking or learn her triggers and help her through her trich.