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FatCat799 , 24 Nov 2017

How to explain it?

Does anybody know how can I explain my mother that my trichotillomania isn't a problem. For me it really isn't. I pluck out eyebrows myltiple times a day and eyelashes but only once or twice. I read that it doesn't have any physical damage besides the hair maybe not growing back (but that isn't a problem for me) but it has mental damage to most people. I don't have any mental damage from it. I probably will never entirely pluck them out because I only have the urge to pluck them out with hands and you cant do much with them. I pluck them everyday in school because so people probably notice but I don't care and I'm not ashamed or anything.

But, according to my mother I act and look like a freak she said she will make go to a psychiatrist on Monday(I am terrified of ANY types of doctors). How to explain it to her???

2 Answers
December 03, 2017
I admire your ability to not see it as an issue and to be accepting of yourself.

Not to over-step my bounds nor scope, but I think long-term you do indeed want to try to reduce/eliminate pulling.

Reasons are not just cosmetic, i.e. eyelashes and eyebrows do indeed serve health purposes.

If you decide your goal will be to eliminate pulling, perhaps let your mother know and come up with a plan of action, even if you carry it through partially or better yet whole.
December 17, 2017
You can get severe infections that can cause major problems if untreated. As a mom with a daughter with trich, I can’t imagine how you must feel. My daughter would never be able to cope without the daily support of our family. My mother and grandmother are like your mom, and I just tell them to cork it and I’m not afraid to ask them to leave. I realize that is likely not an option for you. You are NOT a freak. A psychiatrist may be able to help, but know (here is where you have to educate yourself) most medications given for anxiety will worsen the problem. My daughter sees a CBT and for her, it was about her finding her inner vouce and being able to vocalize her feelings without fear. It sounds like you may be in the same situation. I’m sorry your mother isn’t open and understanding. Please realize that her embarassment is HER issue and you don’t need to worry about that. Part of her is scared for you, but that is no excuse for behavior that basically equates to emotional abuse. My ex-husband has the issue and his mom acted like yours. He’s 43 and still pulls. I don't know that there is a cure, but I do know that with the proper tools in your toolbox, you will be much more successful in managing. Feel free to reach out if you need maternal advice. Lots of parents here who struggle with the issue personally, or have a child struggling. You are not alone.

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