Teen - Been pulling for a while now

I started pulling in 2013/14 and it began when I had scraggly long hair.

It wasn't well looked after, it was dry and dead and had matts so my hair needed to be cut short. But with the stress in my life I kept pulling it.

I didn't want to leave the house. I felt too ashamed and scared. I started study from home. In 2015, I grew back enough for a smallish ponytail that covered a bald spot and I had a fringe. It didn't last.

By last year I lost so much I decided to just cut it all off. I've done this a couple times now.

This year, at first, It was growing back well. I got back into a proper school environment. However I now only ever wear wigs outside. I like wigs, but sometimes I just wish I could just have my hair flowing like other girls.

Some stressful things happened in my life again, my hair being short didn't help as I started using tweezers. My main trigger isn't just stressful events but I also suffer from a lot of scalp acne and inflammation. Those are usually the places I pull, as if i'm making it better. Of course I know I'm not.

My biggest concern is that I won't be able to have my last school picture taken with my real hair, go to the beach without feeling embarassed or have any sort of intimate relationship. Though these worries probably only fuel it more.

I think I need someway or plan for stopping for good, self-motivation alone isn't working.