Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

c_09 , 10 Mar 2017

Being diagnosed and unsure

I have been pulling my hair for a long time. My earliest memory was when I was around 11. I remember noticing a hair that had a thick black root and I remember thinking oh that doesn't look normal? So, I pulled and pulled and pulled until I could find more. I remember after a significant amount of time passed, looking to the floor and seeing the entire bedroom floor covered in hair. I sweeped it up and put it in the bin so no one saw. And that was how it started. I continued to pull whenever i was bored, anxious, excited, any emotion - but never significantly enough for noticeable bald patches. I am now 25 years old and it is starting to affect my relationships. My partner and parents keep nagging me 'stop pulling your hair out' and they'll complain when they find hair around me. They don't quite understand that I can't help it. I've begun to notice the hair on my left side of my head is starting to become more bare and my hair is extremely damaged. I just like finding those roots, i like finding the split ends, i like finding all of those 'non-perfect' hairs. My boss at work even said to me the other day 'don't touch your hair'. I felt so embarrassed but I didn't really feel like I had a problem, it was just a 'quirk' I had and liked to do. It didn't make me feel particularly better, i just liked doing it. I was never really embarrassed by the pulling and openly spoke about it before if anyone asked - just that i can't help it and like doing it. I did get embarrassed at the piles of hair though afterwards and would always sweep these away before anyone noticed.

I agreed to go to the Doctor today for my partner to talk about it. As soon as I started speaking I started crying and I have never cried or even been emotional about it before and the Dr said this is probably because i've just admitted it to a stranger. She never said 'you have trich' just that I have a 'habit' and we talked about anxiety and depression but she said i didn't appear to have that. She has referred me to a behavioural psychologist so I am now on the waiting list. After the appointment my partner phoned to ask me how it went and now i feel so vulnerable, like I have never felt before. I no longer feel in control and just feel really down. Is this definitely trich? Is it just a bad habit? Why do i feel so awful about it now? Aren't you meant to feel better when you talk to someone about it? I want to stop but now I feel like I am 'freak' or something and that no one understands and it's just a habit that I have. I no longer want to talk about it and feel like I need to now be secretive about it and am worried this might make me worse. Did anyone feel the same after they went to the Dr?

3 Answers
March 10, 2017
I felt the same way when I found that this condition actually has a name and that this is a condition. I felt the same because it's difficult to admit that there's something wrong with you and that you have to work on it - not that there's anything wrong with, this is a disorder which we didn't choose to have but still have it. I hope this helps, I felt exactly the same, especially after admitting this to my boyfriend :)
A Dying Storm
March 11, 2017
I feel angry with the doctors, I've been told by a psychiatrist to learn to live with it. I told him that's not an option for me. It's been 15 years.

It's not something I am proud of, I have my eyelashes as my primary picking spot and I can't even look people in the eyes comfortably. So yes it's something that should be defeated and out of our lives if we want to feel normal again.
August 07, 2017
I've always had a problem talking about it, in fact I don't talk about it and never really admitted to it. I know I have this problem but to say it at loud makes me want to cry everytime. I think mainly because when you are admitting to it to someone else its like you know you are going to be judged and since nobody can ever really understand this disorder except for the people who have it you're automatically thinking that they are thinking you're a freak. It's easy to sympathize people with something they cannot help but to other people this is something we can help but they don't get it (they can try but), never really will. So it's like one of us trying to understand why other people can't stop their addictions that we have perfect control of/over.

Start your journey with TrichStop

Take control of your life and find freedom from hair pulling through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now