A guy with trich, coming clean

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/26/2016 - 12:56
Posts: 2
A guy with trich, coming clean
Post: 

I've been looking through this forum, and although I know a lot of people wish to remain anonymous (by name or gender) I can't help thinking that not many guys suffer from this. Which ultimately makes me feel very lonely. So i suppose this is a way of telling my story in a hope that maybe other men can relate, and know that they are not alone.

I don't know when it started, but i know its got increasingly worse throughout my twenties. This condition is got so bad now I'm starting to slip up now and do it in front of people. At work I'll go to the toilet constantly to do it in private. I think anxiety is one of the main triggers for it, which leads me to think i may have an anxiety problem as i am literally doing it all the time.I can literally spend hours pulling. From pretty much my whole body apart from my head. I don't really get the urge to pull there, though know its the most common form of this condition. At the moment my pulling is mainly focused around my beard. Why don't i shave it off? Because i like having one and this may sound silly but my girlfriend likes it to. However its got to a point now that its really thinning out and she's starting to notice a lot of discarded hairs around the house. She doesn't know that i have this condition. No one knows. I dont know how to tell her. Every time i try to i just think of how its going to sound "I pull out my hair and eat it" i would sound like a freak. I feel like a freak. My opinion of my condition is only based on myself however. I've read through a lot of the honest and kind stories and conversations on here. Its nice to see people supporting each other, and i wondering if anyone could help me by telling me how they let there loved ones know they have this condition?

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 1 week ago
Joined: 11/23/2014 - 22:57
Posts: 56

Hi there Mr Trich. Welcome to the forum and thank you for your open and honest share. I recognize it is not easy even behind anonymity. I want to assure you that trich among men is not uncommon. The problem is that there are not a lot of men that come forward publicly about it and it is also 'easier' to hide because it is more socially acceptable for men to have short or bald heads. Here are a few links from our blog that I think you may find helpful to some of the questions you posed here:

https://www.trichstop.com/men-speak-up-about-trich

https://www.trichstop.com/trich-treatment-for-men

There are many other articles in our blog so please do browse through there to have a look.

As for talking to your loved ones, perhaps it may be helpful to use the many awareness videos or direct her to a website or article about the disorder and use this as a springboard for dialogue between you about the disorder and how it impacts your on life. 

Best of luck to you!

Offline
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 05/08/2016 - 14:25
Posts: 2

Its hard telling your loved ones....My family knows but doesn't really understand or care... I visit once a year so I just tie my hair up. I only told them I had bipolar about a month ago... What im trying to say is you shouldn't be ashamed of your self.
When my boyfriend first noticed I pulled he told me to stop... for 4 years I struggled with feeling horrible because he would get mad when I pulled or he saw my bald spots. I will never let someone make me feel like that again.

Tell our girl friend. Even if you just right her a little note explaining and ask her to watch one or two videos just so she understands whats happening. Its hard to explain to people and hard to talk about so sometimes them getting the information themselves is better.

Stay strong

Offline
Last seen: 3 years 10 months ago
Joined: 05/17/2016 - 06:45
Posts: 1

You are not alone. I am a guy on the road to recovery. I write about it here if you want to read my journey through this B.S. disorder. I am trying. I know how it feels. http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Trichotillomania_Hair_Pulling/forum/21495795-so-begins-i

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 1 week ago
Joined: 11/23/2014 - 22:57
Posts: 56

Hi ThisEndsNow. Thanks for sharing the link to the writings about your journey. If it is okay with you I would like to share your link with all the trichstop followers in social media. I think it is important for others who are struggling to be able to share in the journey with others. Best of luck on your journey to recovery.

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 08/07/2017 - 03:40
Posts: 16

If she really loves you she will not judge and will learn to understand. Make sure to have her understand it's important to not get mad at you when she finds out you've pulled. That puts extra pressure and stress on the situation and can cause you to pull more.

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
Joined: 01/04/2018 - 23:42
Posts: 1

Mr. Trich,

I'm a 34 year old guy who has had this horrible affliction since 5th grade. You're not alone. It makes me feel terrible about myself and is one of the most frustrating things in the world. I'm not sure how you beat this compulsion, but I can say that letting my wife know about it was more helpful than hurtful. She doesn't fully understand why I do it and it frustrates her when we're watching TV and she sees me pulling out my eyelashes. However, she's come to realize it's not for attention and isn't entirely controllable; she's come to understand that it is a challenge that we have to overcome together. I'm not sure I have any solutions for your challenges, because I face them too. And I haven't found a solution for the last 20+ years to my own affliction. All I can tell you is that you're not alone, and I have great hope that we can both overcome this awful thing.

Good luck brother,

EB