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Hello fellow trichsters! I just posted this on supportgroups.com but figured I’d post here as well.
I’m 22 (23 next month!) and I have been pulling since I was 12 years old (wow, almost 11 years). I have pulled all of my hair on my scalp out and regrown it at least three times if not more, and I’m really tired of this emotionally draining and physically disfiguring disorder. I’m in several Facebook groups and subreddits for trich, but it feels weird to post about it with my public profile. I have nothing to lose by admitting this - but I’m still nervous to. I pull my hair, and then separate the follicle from the hair with my teeth, discard of the hair (usually haphazardly throwing it on the floor much to my shame and embarrassment when others find it) and bite and ingest the bulb/root. I hate that I do this. I live in shame. Right now half of my head is bald (the rest of my hair is about two inches long). I am tired of living with this disorder, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve tried medication, I wore wigs throughout middle school and most of high school (and swore to never go back), fidget toys, hats, gloves, hell, I even gave hypnotherapy a shot. Nothing has worked. I’m convinced nothing will ever work. I’m terrified that one day, my hair will stop growing back and I’ll be bald forever. I don’t know why I’m writing this post. Maybe for validation, or comfort, or to know I’m not alone. It’s so frustrating when everyone believes in me so fiercely that I can stop if I put my mind to it. It’s upsetting and disheartening and I don’t believe it. I’ve tried to fight. I can’t. I feel like it’s a part of me. Maybe I’ve just given up. But either way it sucks. It really, really sucks.
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