My parents "cared" about my grades. Since 1st grade they never let me study on my own and sent me to a private school i hate (my current grades are in the top 5 percent in every subject but i still make Cs somehow). I have no freedom and my "electronics" are taken away almost all the time, so i spend most of my time studying. When most kids get home, they do about an hour of homework then play xbox or playstation for multiple hours before going to bed. I would get home, do homework, then study with parents for hours at a time. By third grade they took away all of my weekend and devoted it to studying. I became kinda depressed and hated everything, because i really had nothing to look forward to ever and i worked 16 hour days in school. In 3rd grade I started picking at a scab on the very top of my head. It bled now and then, and hair sometimes came with the scabs. I somehow recovered in 4th grade and all hair grew back. In 6th grade I somehow started it back again. It lasted a year and got noticeable. I hated myself more over it and eventually found a cure of putting medicine on it until it healed, but i still had the habit of putting my hand there. Some hair that came out with the scabs started to grow back, and i pulled one out for no reason. I was satisfied by the way it felt when it came out, and i started doing it instead of picking the scab off (I also like poking myself with the hair root lol) . I try to stop but i cannot. Now im stuck with the bald spot and am unable to let it grow back. People have noticed and i hate it. My absolute worst fear is that i get stuck with trich forever, or the combination of the scab picking and hair pulling making a permanent bald spot. I wanna throw in i deal with anxiety alot and i bite my fingernails, and have decided its not a big enough problem to need to try everything to stop it.