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Addicted to the pain
Hi guys, I was wondering if any of you feel the same way, but the reason I pull at my hair is because I like the sharp feeling of pain... I don't even have to yank the hair out, just as long as it is painful :/ Sometimes I use a sharp object like a pen or my nails to poke at my head instead of pulling at the hairs :/
I've been pulling since high school, specifically just in 2 spots, on the right side behind my ear and right on top of my head. The hair is thin there but isn't too noticeable unless you really pay attention, but I'm worried it will get worse :(
I don't really understand why the painful feeling is so pleasurable to me, it seems so morbid, but I just can't stop wanting more D: There are days when I pull / poke so much that my scalp becomes so sore that I'm forced to stop... I've tried searching on other trich forums but no one seems to share this motivation to pull...
At this point it's mutilation. My hands are constantly stained in my own blood. I barely have any pubes left. I look like a walking hamburger. I guess during the earlier days there was a masochistic pleasure associated with the act, if only to ease the emotional pain of the long term damage I was doing to my skin. I don't really get any pleasure out of it anymore.
Now I just kind of smell like old blood all the time and it's almost impossible to wash off.
I'm just wondering when I'll have pulled my hair for the last time, so I don't have to live with it anymore.
I'm sorry you have to go through this to.
At this point it's mutilation. My hands are constantly stained in my own blood. I barely have any pubes left. I look like a walking hamburger. I guess during the earlier days there was a masochistic pleasure associated with the act, if only to ease the emotional pain of the long term damage I was doing to my skin. I don't really get any pleasure out of it anymore.
Now I just kind of smell like old blood all the time and it's almost impossible to wash off.
I'm just wondering when I'll have pulled my hair for the last time, so I don't have to live with it anymore.
I'm sorry you have to go through this to.
I started looking at a hair not picked as an experience point. It's geeky but it kind of works for me. No need to let the same old habits control us. Might as well replace it with something that makes you laugh instead.